life is crazy

Well here I am back in New Orleans after being in Florida visiting my new niece and being in a wedding this weekend. I found it quite hard to come back here. On one hand I am excited about being here and the new challenge and opportunity it gives me but at the same time I miss having people around me that really know me and feeling a sense of community when I come back to someplace. I find myself having a hard time letting go of things, something I have always struggled with. Maybe it is not so much a problem with letting go as it is being faithful, I am not sure.

All I know is that I desperately miss feeling the sense of community and friendship I felt in Philly, Pittsburgh, and my friends from college. I miss having good friends to just hang out with and talk about life and God with. I know that I just need to be patient and know and trust that God will provide that here but it has been hard. I think I am finding that the more I move and make new friends, that harder it is to keep in contact with the friends I have left. Also I see the friends that I have left getting closer to each other and I am not part of that and that stinks.

I think that I am just not good at transition, even though I like to think that I am. But what exactly is transition. Is it moving on or just coming to a place where you feel at peace where you are at and where you have come from? I am not really sure, but searching for that peace.

I know that I must trust, trust that God has brought me to a new place away from close friends for a reason. I know one thing that God does continue to remind me through all of this is that He is so much bigger than I am. Maybe that is something that I need to focus on when I am feeling lonely or sad, that God is bigger that me and all my feelings and that he is going to bless this step of faith and teach me more and more about Him and the holy spirit and especially who I am in Him through all of this.