when will it stop

I really hate transitioning, it is such a hard thing to do, even though it is such a huge part of life. I feel like I have been in a state of transition for almost a year. Yes, I have moved 3 times since last October but I even felt in that state before I began my hectic moving style.

For me the hardest part is leaving friends and knowing how to let go of them as well as the hopes I had, making new friends, and getting the effort to get out there to even begin to make new ones. I am a very extroverted person and I like to meet new people. But ever since I have arrived in New Orleans I have not been very good at getting out there and meeting people. I get frustrated because I feel that I already have enough friends and I have a hard enough time keeping in touch with the ones I have. I dont want any new ones. But then again I am pretty lonely and in need to meet people.

I am just so ready to feel settled somewhere and to be happy in my vocation as well as being in a close christian community. I thought that would be Pittsburgh and then Florida and now I am praying it will be New Orleans. I think one thing that this transition has taught me is how bad I am at letting go of things and just embracing where I am at. I am bad at trusting that God has a plan for me and that it is a plan to bless me and not to harm me. I get so wrapped up in wanting my own plan that I forget that He is in charge.

Peace is such an amazing word and God is teaching me about what is means in my life, as I search for it. It is a word that has a lot of others words in it, such as healing, reconciliation, community, and others. So today i just continue to ask for peace and that Jesus will teach me more about myself and His father as I search for it. I think if I dont begin to look more to Jesus to guide me to His peace then I will just continue to be in this dark cloud that I feel like I am in, and that is not what God has planned for my life.