Bad day...
So I am just having one of those days, where I just feel like the world is against me. I know that it is absurd and that I have so much to be thankful for and all the crap that has gone on in my life over the past year and a half is nothing compared to the destruction around me, but I am just having one of those "feel sorry for myself days" and the worst part is that I am not stopping it. I know that I am blessed with so much but today I am just frustrated with my life and how it has gone on for the past year and a half. I keep saying to myself and to God "can I just please get a break here?!!"
One might wonder what set me off. It is not a huge thing in the spectrum of the world but I have just found out how much it will cost me to switch over my car stuff to Louisisana, something I had planned not to do because of how expensive I hear it is, but I was lazy and never got a Florida license and the people out there who look at these thing caught that I dont have all my stuff in one state. But it is ridiculous how much is cost, I even have to pay sales tax on my car again at 9%. This so frustrates me because between higher rent at my new place (thank you Katrina) and now this, I do not think I will be able to take the grad school class that I had been hoping to take this spring, and I dont have the income to do many other things I had hoped to do nor to save money.
As I am writing this I know that it just sounds so pathetic and self-centered. I mean for one I live here and even though I have no plans to settle here, I still live here and the honest thing is to pay my dues here. Also I keep thinking how is the world do low income people afford car insurance and registration here, messed up. But I think this is just one of those things that just hit me really wrong on a very vulnerable day. I dont know why I feel so vulnerable today in particular, I think the crappy things that have happened in my life in the past year and a half just sort of hit me more on some days than others. I just want to have something so awesome happen in my life, I just want to be happy. I know that God is continally doing great things in my life and that I need to look to Him for joy in the hard times, but for some reason today I am just allowing myself to be pessimisitc and I know that is sad but I am. I know that I am so much better of than SOOO many people and that I am blessed with so many things, but today I am just frustrated.
I need to make sure that tomorrow is different......
One might wonder what set me off. It is not a huge thing in the spectrum of the world but I have just found out how much it will cost me to switch over my car stuff to Louisisana, something I had planned not to do because of how expensive I hear it is, but I was lazy and never got a Florida license and the people out there who look at these thing caught that I dont have all my stuff in one state. But it is ridiculous how much is cost, I even have to pay sales tax on my car again at 9%. This so frustrates me because between higher rent at my new place (thank you Katrina) and now this, I do not think I will be able to take the grad school class that I had been hoping to take this spring, and I dont have the income to do many other things I had hoped to do nor to save money.
As I am writing this I know that it just sounds so pathetic and self-centered. I mean for one I live here and even though I have no plans to settle here, I still live here and the honest thing is to pay my dues here. Also I keep thinking how is the world do low income people afford car insurance and registration here, messed up. But I think this is just one of those things that just hit me really wrong on a very vulnerable day. I dont know why I feel so vulnerable today in particular, I think the crappy things that have happened in my life in the past year and a half just sort of hit me more on some days than others. I just want to have something so awesome happen in my life, I just want to be happy. I know that God is continally doing great things in my life and that I need to look to Him for joy in the hard times, but for some reason today I am just allowing myself to be pessimisitc and I know that is sad but I am. I know that I am so much better of than SOOO many people and that I am blessed with so many things, but today I am just frustrated.
I need to make sure that tomorrow is different......
posted by khwilly at 12:51 PM
1 Comments:
katie, keep coming back here....share your thoughts and your emotions. Your soul is beautiful. I'm praying for you and I love you so much. You are so dear to me.
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